Hope I Die Before I Get Old...

... and even That Guy hasn't!

Getting old is a crazy, weird thing. I'm halfway through my life. I regret not doing all sorts of things with my body when I could...More exercise, more running, hiking, swimming, without feeling knees creak and be out of breath. I regret looking so different now, but feeling like the same person I was in my 20's. Know you understand body dysphoria- the outside doesn't match the inside.

Being unmarried and single doesn't help.  When I drive down the street, my head will jerk around for a cute guy walking down the street... then I realize I'm old enough to be his Mom.  There's a crazy new mix of chemicals that happens at this age.  You don't need sex constantly, but you're old enough to own up to your lechery. I hate the term "cougar," and I seriously couldn't fathom dating anyone under 30 (Demi and Ashton?) but I so totally lust for the body, energy and youth that comes with a young guy. And I miss my nubile body. Let's not go there. I've entered that new demographic- the invisible, at least to guys younger than me. (And shit, most guys my age! I live in fucking Hollywood... there's always something better, hotter and younger around the corner.)
And I remind myself that I should set my sights differently... I'm also looking at men in their 50's.  The Viagra Guy with the cool car is looking good. Get used to it. That's who you should be dating, I tell myself!

I own up to my lechery... and I have to own up to being old.
Cougar Alert: I have no idea where I got this pic...hell, I stole it. Off the internet. Just like you do.  We're fast becoming an Idiocracy of pictures, no words. I used to love 2-dimensional images and had serious scopafilia. I wanted to be a photographer.  Now we are a nation of Tumblrs and tiny pics on a mobile device- not text. I can't even write anymore like I used to!! My brain is going to atrophy... but all my visual stimulation needs are met! Hurray!
Amid his junked up tattoos I see "1987..." aw sheesh. I sure hope that wasn't the year he was born!!!!

I own up to my lechery:

Reading: "The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks," by Max Brooks; just finished "Mockingjay" by Suzanne Collins

If I put "binder" in the title, how many will find my blog?

     It's October 19, post 2nd Presidential debate... I won't actually talk about that. Hahaha!
I'm desperately wanting a place to rant and write like I used to on Myspace all those years ago. And I don't want a new Word Press. And I don't want a new Tumblr. And I like being the Filthy Book Reader.
     Facebook threw up this book for me to notice on their Ad Ravaged Right Side Bar (Facebook with advertising... who was naive to think he could create it withoug monetizing?!! Oh yea..)... The Skin You Live In.  This book will help you "... become more comfortable when reaching across racial and cultural lines." Wow. Just wow. But at least someone's writing about it if someone needs help with this dilemma. Hard to believe... but many need help relating to someone of a different color or culture.
    Speaking of books, this is the part where I do not talk about "50 Shades of Grey".... at least not yet.  I gotta wait till my Mom finishes and sends me the copy she borrowed from my Aunt.  Um. I turned 50 shades of green when my Mom told me she was reading it and immediately started shitting on the book. Then I realized, how can I censor my Mom when she never censored me.  Hell, when I was 16 she had no idea I was reading "The Story of O" and "9 1/2 Weeks" along with my best friend.  So I have ordered Jay Wiseman's "SM 101" and "Screw the Roses, Give me the Thorns" for a nice tutorial when I visit my family... not that it matters.  But it's kind of neat that I will get to share with them the self-taught sexology I've acquired for years and can explain how bad "50 Shades" is.

Cougar Alert: the "Almost Famous" kid got tall... and good looking as hell. He's in that zoo movie with Matt Daman and I didn't recognize him.
Ladies and Gentleman, Patrick Fugit looks better than Russell and Jeff Bebe combined: